Things are not the way they are supposed to be. This is hardly a deep insight.
My name is Kurt Lutjens and for the last 16 years I have been Isabel's pastor. Over the last few, one Sunday a month around 9 AM, Isabel, often with Katherine or Louisa, would come into my study to get supplies needed for her work. Isabel is one of the people who prepare the Lord's Table for our weekly feast of wine and bread at Grace & Peace. Isabel is always very quiet in this, probably not wanting to disturb me in my pre service mode. We would greet each other and Isabel then scooted out with supplies in hand. Her low key service did not escape my notice. Now I don't know if Isabel will be back to my study. This is now the seventh day of our little sister's suffering. With my sadness I also have questions.
It may be tempting at a time like this for pastors and others to offer explanations for the reality and meaning of suffering. There are actually important things that can be said because God has not left us without some understanding. Such help comes especially from the stories of people in the Old and New Testaments who endured much turmoil, loss and death.
But this is not a time for theologizing. Job's friends did not seem to understand this. They started out well by sitting quietly with their friend in his misery. It was when they started defending God and accusing Job with doctrinal pronouncements that they began earning the Lord's rebuke. When someone we love is in pain it is a time to just be with them. When someone we love is suffering it is time to "...pour out your hearts to the Lord, for he is our refuge." (Ps 62:8) It is a time to make our complaint known to the God of all the earth as Job, Hannah, David, and many others learned to do in times of trouble. The Holy One can handle our confusion, anger and grief. This is the time for being thankful that in Jesus of Nazareth, God himself entered into our suffering, not with philosophical answers but in his own agonizing death on a Roman cross. After all, is it answers really, that we want most of all? God knows that it is him that we are longing for as we wait for a hopeful word on Isabel's condition.
There is a question in the Heidelberg Catechism that helps to capture the larger picture in God's sometimes inscrutable ways of caring for his creation. It relates directly to Isabel and our hearts aching for her:
Q. What do you understand by the providence of God?
A. The almighty and ever present power of God whereby he still upholds, as it were by his own hand, heaven and earth together with all creatures, and rules in such a way that leaves and grass, rain and draught, fruitful and unfruitful years, food and drink, health and sickness, riches and poverty, and everything else, come to us not by chancebut by his fatherly hand.
This probably raises more questions than it answers. That's OK. Those who love Isabel and the Wimmer-Brown family don't need answers at this point as much as we need to know what is unshakably true. For over 19 years of blessings and difficulties, Isabel has not for a moment been cut off from the fatherly goodness of her God. For all of our questioning, this has not and will not happen!
Ahh, Kurt thank you! It is hard to just be at times yet I heard a wise man say once there is worship in waiting. I've been thinking a lot about that lately. I believe Mary mentioned it this week, too. I was sad when I saw Isabel this week wishing that things were different. Wishing she were at my house babysitting and smiling in her beautiful way. However, later when Peter and I "processed" our visit I was so struck by the experience. I felt like I had seen the Holy Spirit. Rick and Mary, you were testifying to Him being with you. I walked away deeply encouraged like I saw the Holy Spirit. I was reminded of His role and that He is real. My prayer for all of us this morning is that we get more of the Holy Spirit and that we can truly worship in the waiting.
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